9/6/07 a day I will never forget

Today is the 2 year anniversary of the most traumatic day of my life. To this day, the site of a Ridgeview ambulance, a public bathroom or even driving through Eagan starts my pulse racing just a little bit faster. For many of you, my traumatic day may seem like nothing, but for me, it was unlike anything I have ever experienced and hope to never experience anything like it again.

The day started out like many others. I packed up my son and nanny daughter (both 8 months old) and started driving to Eagan for a playdate. I was running ahead of schedule and was feeling a bit sick so I pulled over in a Walgreens parking lot to waste some time and decide what I should do next. The kids were asleep and I really didn't want to wake them just to run into the bathroom. I figured if I got out of the car and got some fresh air, maybe I'd start feeling better. Basically, I was feeling as if I needed to go to the bathroom - like really bad gas. I contemplated asking someone to watch the kids for me while I ran inside - I decided against it. I called a friend who lives in the area to see if I could stop by her house to use the bathroom (which sounded a bit humorous to me, but I was feeling desperate. After a bit I started feeling a little better to I continued on to the park.

I arrived at the park and unloaded the kids. My friends weren't there yet. I called them and realized they were at a different park very nearby so I packed the kids back up and drove down the road a mile. I unloaded the kids again, dropped them off with my friends and ran up to the little public bathroom. After spending some time in there I was not feeling any better. I rejoined my friends and the kids. Details are a bit hazy, but soon thereafter, I fainted. My friends called Eric who came to pick me up. I was feeling better at this point, so I got up to walk to the car and fainted again. Eric loaded me and the kids into his car and we started on our way home. Soon we realized we had left my nanny girl's lovey in my car at the park. We drove back to the park and since I really didn't want to leave my car in Eagan, I got in my car and began following Eric in his car.

We stopped for gas, I almost fainted while I waited for Eric to fill his tank, I didn't tell anyone. Again, I didn't want to leave my car in Eagan.

I continued the drive home. I called my mom to see if she could come over to help me out with the kids. I told her it was no big deal, I'm not just not feeling very well. She came right over. She brought DQ chicken strips. By this time, my shoulder also hurt, I couldn't lean backwards cause it hurt my shoulder and my stomach worse. Sitting was ok though. My nanny girl got picked up at the usual time and I told her mom, "I'm not feeling well. It's probably nothing, just gas pains or something."

I called my dad, he said I should go to urgent care. I called the nurses' line, she said I should go to urgent care with in 2 hours. I got in the car and drove to urgent care.

On my way there I can remember thinking, "I"m going to be so embarrassed when they send me home with a jar of Tums and diagnose me as having the worst gas pains ever." Still, I sucked up my pride and continued on.

I drove to the little urgent care about 5 minutes from our house (which by the way is no longer there, I still wonder what would have happened if I would have driven all the way to the closest urgent care now which is about 20 minutes away).

I quickly got a room and the nurse began doing the triage questions. I began feeling hot and unzipped my fleece (which I no longer own) and that is the last thing I remember until I awoke laying on the floor with an EMT leaning over me.

This is where the details get REALLY fuzzy.

They loaded me into a Ridgview ambulance. The EMT asked if I'd like something for the pain. I said yes. My blood pressure plummetted it. The EMT said, "bring it up to a level 3 Mandy." The sirens were wailing and the lights were flashing. It was raining. I remember thinking that people could look in the back of the window and see what was happening.

I was in and out of consciousness. We arrived at the hospital. The ER doctor was straight out of Grey's Anatomy. Don't remember much.

"Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" I didn't think so.

"You have an ectopic pregnancy"

"Can I still have another baby?"

"Most likely, yes"

They gave me a vaginal ultrasound to confirm the ruptured fallopian tube.

I had internally bled over 1/3 of my blood. They gave me a blood transfusion with O because they didn't have time to get my blood type.

My Dad and Eric were in and out.

One of the nurses was the same nurse who had been in the surgery room when I delivered Emmett. She looked like an angel to me.

They gave me anti nausea meds because of the chicken strips I had eaten.

When I didn't think I could survive the pain one more second, they gave me anesthesia and took me into surgery.

I woke up.

Our dear friends, Drew and Jammie, were there. It was the middle of the night. Jammie thought I was dying. I didn't know until later, how close to the truth that actually was.

I only have one fallopian tube.

I vaguely remember someone telling me, "we're leaving your belly ring right on top of your blankets." I haven't seen it since.

Emmett came to see me the next morning and was afraid to come to me.

Over the next couple days I was supported by amazing friends and family who helped care for Emmett and brought me meals.

I walked to the park the next day with my brother. I later found out the only reason I was able to accomplish such a feat was because I was still high on drugs. I crashed the next day.

I grieved the child we lost that I never even knew we were expecting.

I requested all of my medical documents from this day, just for my own curiosity and for the ultrasound picture. I wanted a picture of our second conceived child who we will meet in heaven.

The first thing the OB doctor who did my surgery said to me at my check up was, "You cut it really close."

My mom told me, she was happy to be where she was needed, with the kids, but it killed her to not be at the hospital with me. Now that I have my own little girl, I know just how she must have felt.

I now know how little sites and sounds could tip off such anxiety. I now have more empathy for people who have experienced much more traumatic events than myself.

I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful to have 2 healthy children. I am grateful for an amazing support system of family and friends. I am grateful to have a loving heavenly Father in whose arms I can rest and know that I am cared for and cherished.

Playing before leaving for the park on 9/6/07.

At the hospital the morning after.

Note from my friend Jammie.

My mom and brother came to help.

My in-laws took Emmett to our church Car Show.

My friend Melissa came to help and made pot roast!

My mom with the boys.

My friends Sarah and Brianna took care of Emmett while I napped.

And so many more I don't have pictures of!

Thank you God for your many blessings.