3:00 - Eisley wide awake asking for "milk" - to be nursed. She doesn't go back to sleep when I nurse her so I refuse and get her a sippy cup of milk instead.
3:10 - After gulping down her milk, I put her back in her bed, she's quiet.
3:14 - Wide awake and crying, I give her some more milk and ask her, "would you like to go back to your bed?" She says, "yeah." I put her back in bed, she's quiet.
3:20 - Again, she's wide awake and crying. Eric offers to go in to tend to her. He's already up and about to leave for work (I know, he gets up SO early! I love him.)
3:30 - She isn't having it, she's still up after Eric has so lovingly tried to get her back to sleep. So I go in there and bring her in bed with me. She's tossing and turning and talking and failing.
3:45 - Emmett comes into my room. "Mommy, can I lay in here with you?" Sure! Why not! Let's just make it a party. One kid on one side, one kid on the other. I usually LOVE this sort of snuggling, but right now, I just would really love to be sleeping! The kids try to talk. Emmett gives Eisley a pacifier. I discourage interaction. Eisley flails. Eisley tries to jump on the bed. I threaten to Eisley that I'm going to put her back in her room. I follow through on my threat. I have very low expectations for getting any more winks of sleep.
4:15 - Eisley screams for a second on her room and then lays right down. I am laying in bed with a failing Emmett. I tell him he can either SLEEP in here or go back to his room. He settles down and falls asleep with his head on my back (I'm laying on my side with my back to him).
5:15 - Eisley's awake! I am grateful for that last hour of sleep! I bring her into my room and nurse her. I only nurse her one time a day, in the morning, entirely due to my desire to lay in bed for 30 more minutes when she wakes up at 5:00. Every night I tell myself I'm not going to nurse her tomorrow. Every morning I find her snuggling with me nursing. I'm hoping as this pregnancy continues, she'll wean herself. We shall see!
5:45 - After dozing and nursing on only one side. She refused to nurse on the other side. She literally screamed, "No!" when I tried to get her to nurse on the other side. Mama needs 15 more minutes of laying! No such luck. So here I am, sitting on the couch blogging, while she's running around playing, exploring, happy and content.
I know this morning hasn't been THAT bad. I've had worse, and will have MUCH worse in a few months with a newborn. But still, this post was for my therapy and thank you for listening, or skipping to the end, I feel much better.